voice from heart...

2012-02-14T23:40:00.002+08:00

hapii valentine day.

today is the worst day ever.

i really hope tht vanessa didnt told me abt it.

then i forever dont kno abt it.

now the question keep on repeating and repeating.

WHY?!!

why he together with her??

i thought he said he wants to focus on study first??

why he lied to me??

i really want to kno the reason.

i want to kno how they been close together??

dont kno why i cnt wish them happiness.

i was thinking how long they can be together.

how bad i am.

im feel terrible.

i cnt stop crying.

WHY???????

i know its impossible for me to be with him again anymore.

in this world thr's really no miracle.

only disappointment.

2012-02-13T11:35:00.002+08:00

MONEY.

who dont thk tht money is important for us?

who dont thk tht we cant live without money?

everyone LOVES money.

everyone LOVES to be RICH.

who wants to be poor if thy have the will to choose?

NO ONE!

but is tht true tht money is the MOST important in your LIFE??

to me NO.

no doubt,

money is important to me.

but i can say i can still live well without having to be rich.

all i want is just a happy family.

thts all matter.

idk if i have a happy family.

i have parents and siblings.

but im just not happy.

most of the time is all about MONEY.

when friends ask me how much my parents give for my monthly allowance,

i told them and most said 'THTS NOT ENOUGH.'

but 'who cares?!', my parents thought.

when i told my parents,

no words but argument.

seriously,

if i have my job,

who will ask them for money?

when thy refuse,

constantly ask and ask just like a beggar!

parents willing to see their children have insufficient money to survive yet unwilling to help!

i used a lot on my own saving.

my parents never buy me any expensive phone nor things!

should say,

thy HARDLY buy me things nowadays!

all thy do are just keep the money for THEMSELVES.

money MATTER to them A LOT.

i promised myself,

i ll never stretch out my hand and ask for money again!

i will not like a beggar anymore!

i WILL work hard and GAIN money MYSELF.

2012-02-10T00:25:00.002+08:00

i had a sweet dream today.

a dream tht lighten up my life at tht MOMENT.

it was so REAL and im really felt so happy.

but when im awake,

i REALIZED it was a DREAM.

how nice if i could live in fantasy.

without SADNESS and live with HAPPILY EVER AFTER life.

idk if all this while im just pretending to be happy,

accepting the facts,

and move on.

if is TRUE,

i ve been pretend for almost a year time.

i cnt find bck my true self.

WHR ARE YOU CHUAH CHIN YIN??

i still cry when i read bck older post of him.

i still smile when i read all the messages.

i feel as if i was hugging him when i hug the piggie he gave me.

i still cnt control myself.

i still stalk him once awhile.

because of my fear,

i avoid crowded places.

i fear of bump into him,

as i kno i still NOT ready.

HOW LONG DO I STILL NEED??

2012-02-08T22:01:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year 2012~

Kedah trip 03.02.12-07.02.12!

went to Kedah 'bai nin' with PeiEe.

initially planned to bck on Sunday,

even bought the ticket,

yet due to certain reason,

we prolonged our trip to 5D4N.

thankyou for letting us stay and being such a nice tour guide,

credit to mr. LimYongSheng, XD

here is Kek Lok Si temple, Penang.

went here on Chap Goh Mei,

as heard everyone said during CNY here decorated till very nice.

indeed its true!

i came here once,

during the day and the Guan Yin statue was still incomplete.

now its awesome!!

thanks to his parents for bringing us here all the way from SP.

thr's 12 chinese zodiac statue at Kek Lok Si.

we each found our own zodiac and tk a couple of pictures with it.

on tht day thr's LOTS og people.

so congested.

my wishlist!!

each costs 1buck.

funny was everyone thr wrote chinese on it.

guess im the only one who wrote english on it.

due to my specialty,

hope wht i wished for may come true.

supposedly next station was to Gurney Drive thr.

but due to heavy rain,

we forced to go bck home earlier.

by this too we doesnt make his parents too tired i guess.

and tht's the END of chinese new year.

this year i failed to go for the 'tro mandarin' event.

and so couldn't find my mr. right. :c

2012-02-03T00:13:00.002+08:00

welcome Samsung Galaxy S2!

this is the new smartphone i bought today, RM1.6k.

thts not cheap or worth.

thts because i ve traded in my SE W995 instead.

thts my SE W995 i had traded.

not even a year old.

just 10th month yet it seemed lke one year old or more.

as i not really look after it as how i looked after my SE W810i.

wht i miss was the messages in this ph.

i cnt retrieve it bck.

thr's no way to.

ll just remain as memory.

thgs meant to be forget!

owhhhhh...

my 5 years old baby.

i love this ph seriously.

i dropped it several times,

even crashed by car,

yet still able to function lke how it used to.

thts why never intend to trade it,

and its not worth to trade as no market d. :c

hope i able to use the new smartphone for 4 years time!! XD

2012-01-29T22:37:00.002+08:00

hapii Dragon year 2012!!

time flies just lke tht.

now ald 8th day of chinese new year.

all this days went to grandma's house and had dinner.

yummy!!

at the same time not really dare go to those crowded places as i fear of bump into him.

been thought of him AGAIN recently,

due to CNY.

been missing the times we celebrated tgt in year 2010.

i miss him ALOT NOW. ;c

this is my nephew.

how cute he is.

i LOVE him much!!

he has been sticking with my sis all the time at grandma's house.

after all no ones had time to ply with him.

all og us able to entertain him for some time bt not whole day. XD

both of time was sitting at the corner enjoying their ice cream potong.

how sweeet~~

the 3 of us had ntg to do and so cam-whoring.

my nephew and i.

i really forgotten his name.

im so sorry..

yummy!!

banana chocolate chip muffin & tiramisu.

went to Startbuck with Vanessa.

basiccally due to nowhere to go,

leg getting sore so find a place to chit chat,

and ended up here.

the muffin really taste not bad.

large enough to make you feel satisfied!! XD

2012-01-19T21:43:00.003+08:00

KAMPAR LIFE

16.01.12-18.01.12

last monday followed see kei's car went to Kampar for 3D/2N stay.

obviously overnight at her house since she gt empty space to accommodate me.

life at thr as usual,

eat, sleep, surf the net and chit chat.

one thg tht make me felt uneasy at thr was him.

i was so worried tht i bump into him.

i have no guts to face him yet.

not ready i guess.

maybe i cnt face it if i saw him with other gurls or else.

idk.

thou im trying to live as normal,

sometimes i did thk abt him again.

getting frequent since i bck ipoh.

maybe here was whr all our memories made.

all our past.

i can have my own life!

this is dry curry pan mee.

i actly ordered d wrong one.

as i thought this was d one he once ordered when we went thr and ate tgt.

it was actly not. :c

overall its not bad.

i love to eat at this restaurant dunno why.

its delicious to me.

nameof the shop: face to face. XD

in lecture class.

was attneding english for management class.

tht day he was not teaching,

due to lots of students applied for leave,

for CNY.

seriously, i LOVE their bookshop!

indeed a bookshop.

variety of text books.

not lke my university.

if not mistaken,

thr's NOT even a bookshop!

hell no!!

idk whr's this place. XD

walked around with see kei and had a chance to captured this pic,

which idk why i captured.

UTAR actly NOT bad.

i mean their surrounding.

NICE view.

and UTAR definitely can MATCH with our UNIMAS.

both have LAKES!!

beside tht,

NTG else.

well known of their lakes??

ll upload our UNIMAS view to have a COMPARISON.

hahaha.

2012-01-14T23:55:00.003+08:00

finally home sweet home!

before tht,

we dropped by KL and shop.

went to IU and had lunch at Zamai Sushi??

initially bro's treat,

yet ended up daddy's.

its okay.

this mean i ll have another high end meal i assume it as, SOON!! XD

seriously,

it'd been a long time since i had such an expensive, delicious food.

its lke i often eat instant noodles and bread + biscuits.

now i finally can have a healthy lifestyle,

at least for a month!

bettet than ntg.

this is dunno wht soba with chicken chop??

not bad laa.

just tht my bro and i dunno the exact way to eat this. (if thr's one)

this i kno!!

fried sotong.

my mom ordered.

besides those 'common' food lke this,

ntg suits her. XD

good.

basically idk wht this food called.

all i kno thr's egg and tempura with rice.

i kno i say the obvious. :c

i assume i here to show you the Zamai's surrounding?

tht's my luggage i brought to ipoh for this sem break!

i kno thr's alot.

almost 3 hand carry and 2 backpack.

tada!

i cleared me study table.

well not entirely yet.

at least, its clean and spacious!

tht's my cleaning mission in progress.

tht's also on the day i back,

after the last ppr of final.

fuh!

2012-01-11T19:45:00.004+08:00

practically thts wht i consumed all the time in UNIMAS.

and people wong get fat without reason.

now you kno why! :c

durian durian.

always been one of my favo. food list!

located just outside our old campus.

and thts my first time,

had durian at outside with my friends,

not stand nor sit,

but SQUAD DOWN!

wht a nice experience to have! XD

lots of durians!

and each grouped in different categories i guess?

haha.

all of us didnt kno which to choose.

the seller chose for us and opened instead.

after all we just kno HOW to eat!

thts my breakfast!

NESVITA 3IN1 CEREAL, honey flavor. XD

i ve even showed the step on how to make.

seriously,

by this itself doesnt satisfy me.

owhhhhh.

its dinner time!

and i ll eat instant noodles most of the time.

well u kno,

save time & cash.

gonna chg my habit next sem!

hair thinning huh.

and not healthy at allll!

btw,

i screwed my discreet math ppr.

dont even have the confident to pass for it.

OMG.

2012-01-09T18:17:00.004+08:00

CURRENT country,

SARAWAK!

can you see the MCD behind the statue??

tht's the only MCD available for 24H at Kuching.

i miss MCD.

i rmb when i was in peninsular,

during school time,

its lke once a week at MCD.

now once a month?

how sad.

kuching statue?

people said come to Sarawak its a must to capture this statue woh.

wth. nonsense!!

yet i captured. XD

2 stupid fella disturbing me!

destroy the nice view of 360 express hotel!

i love this hotel.

comfortable & affordable.

another famous food at Sarawak.

tomato kueh tiao.

tried 3 stall,

tasteless.

disappointed d. :c

this is the famous food at Sarawak.

mee kolo.

nice to see, nice to eat. XD

different with our peninsular kolo mee.

our dark dark.

theirs white white.

haha.

kolo mee, with added pork oil.

seriously,

i love kolo mee!

the first 'chu chao' i had at Kuching.

its just opposite The Spring.

taste not bad.

went thr once and for all.

ll visit again next sem i guess.

THE SPRING!

this is Sarawak's largest shopping mall.

you know,

LARGEST!!

can you imagine tht??

thou ntg inside,

i almost every week ll come here.

eeks!!

2012-01-09T18:06:00.003+08:00

THAT's my HOSTEL,

UNIMAS.

this is the living room.

nice huh?

but unclean. :c

TADA!!

my study table.

damn messy i kno.

tht's when i first moved here.

now totally damn neat! XD

thts my smallest bed i ever slept!

i didnt cheat right?

is so small till i dropped off from bed once.

paiseh paiseh.

this d reason why i dislike to bathe when im in Sarawak.

cnt blame me.

the space is limited as u cn see!

thr's no space for you to turn here and thr.

stand still and bathe thts all u cn.

i ve been SO busy for my final now.

basically not tht busy.

im so in HOLIDAY mood which idk why.

and recently i just cant sleep!

i really need sleeping PILLs!!

its okay.

thr's FOUR more DAYS for me to bear with.

and im HOME!!

2011-12-29T20:52:00.002+08:00

29th December 2011.

this is the day tht im gonna start all over again!

as if i cn. hmmph.

i created a new FB account.

this is all because im NOT determine enough to BLOCK his account.

all this while i thought tht if you block someone,

once you unblock it ll went lke normal,

as in the connection remains.

yet its not.

once you block someone,

its lke the connection between you and tht prsn GONE!

which mean even you unblock it,

you re not his/her friend anymore.

i don want ahh!

thts why i thought of create a new account.

as long as im not his friend or his friend's friends,

guess i ll NOT think of him,

and STOP stalking his profile.

this DOESNT mean tht i ll stop loving him.

this DOESNT mean i felt tht all this while wht i ve done were worthless.

im NOT regret at all.

instead im happy tht i ONCE loved one person from the bottom of my heart.

regardless of how he hurt me or did,

i FORGIVE him!

and i ll WAIT him as well.

if he really ever together with someone,

even marry with tht gurl,

its fine.

i ll truly WISH him happiness.

owning him yet his heart not with me,

its useless right?

im such a fool i kno tht.

its out of my control.

wht i can do now is continue to STAY ON, LIVE WELL.

2011-12-28T21:21:00.004+08:00

finally bck to my hostel.

now im in my room,

on the smallest bed i ever slept,

writing this post.

pity huh? XD

recently listened to a song.

'sha gua' by Landy Wen.

its all about a fool's pure love.

"A fool who only has love for her/his lover,

and forgives every time that lover hurts her/him,

regardless of the reason.

The fool believes that there will be a reward for giving her/his all,

ironically,

the only reward for doing so is being called a fool.

Being called a fool for giving ur purest love."

to others we re just lke a fool.

yet to us,

we kno tht its worth.

everything is worth and no regrets!

2011-12-27T22:38:00.003+08:00

here i am.

Daerah Serian, Sarawak!

at my roommate house for 3D2N stay.

treated well and stayed well.

thanks to uncle & aunty for the warm treatment!

thanks to me beloved roommate too!

my lovely durian.

Serian is well known with the durian.

thr's a durian statue when u enter the Serian region.

just lke my hometown, ipoh.

thr's a big groundnut statue when u enter Menglembu region.

and to me this is definitely damn big.

ate this and ate d main course.

fatty!

i love this place!

the water is so clear and tdy the water flow was strong.

due to the rainy day this few days.

tht was wht my rommie said. XD

i definitely ll come here and enjoy the nature!

maybe 1st of January?

New Year new places right?

just lke im in different state this new year.

needa ask my friends..

seriously,

i gorget the place's name.

just kno its located somewhere near Serian.

and so damn near my roomie's house!

i definitely be bck!!

in love with you!

2011-12-26T16:00:00.002+08:00

this week is study week.

TWO more weeks to go and im BCK to my hometown!

time passed just lke lightning.

without my realization, one sem almost finish.

i still rmb the first day i came to UNIMAS,

i often felt irritated and frustrated.

i wanted to go bck home.

i hate here.

yet i successfully went tru all the hard days alone!

bt thr's sacrifices made.

which was went out once a week, and enjoy to the max!

with this,

i can totally forget the sad things,

unwanted memory,

and act madly with my friends.

its time to study now.

needa pass all my sub so tht i cn officially say GOODBYE to them.

and HI to my new course nx sem!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2011!!

2011-12-17T22:17:00.002+08:00

looking from afar is really tiring.

im not being a stalker.

by right i had stop being one.

it just pop out on my homepage.

i ve been avoiding all the time.

why it keeps on appear?

im so tired of waiting.

im tired of pretending to smile and act im okay.

im tired of left everything undone and have fun,

just to have some happy moments and forget the past.

final is so near yet i haven prepare.

assignments due just few days on yet i haven done.

what am i doing?!

i just kno to have fun fun fun!

else stay in the room and watch drama.

when i am able to wake?!

thnks as a dream; when you open your eyes it wont hurt at all.

2011-12-11T01:01:00.009+08:00

christmas is coming to u '11 unimas!

had a brilliant christmas celebration tdy held by our MPP.

the performance was awesome.

the food was normal.

im not full and satisfied!

shud'nt sit at the same table with them.

hmmph!

that's the FOODSS!

not ehuf right? XD

thanks to sue lin.

because of her gift to me,

i went to this event and had a nice day!

he is sue lin's japanese classmate!

hello.

nice to meet you, jason.

AWESOME performance by him!

had the courageous tht i guess no one has!

keep it up ya. XD

finally,

our FIT faculty.

thou tht guy frm left idk frm which faculty.

bt who cares!

after today,

my new life begins!

whether can be with him ant,

let GOD decides.

HE knows well if we have fate being husband and wife ant.

i NEED to FOCUS on my study d!

2011-12-07T18:44:00.002+08:00

when i saw wht he posted on his wall,

i totally went out of mind.

wht he said everything was a lie!

i thought he said he just wanna focus on study?

i thought he said he just want to success?

frankly i did thought of waiting him for 4 years,

lke wht he told me earlier.

bt during the sem brk when i met him,

i kno he actly was fooling me.

i kno im stupid.

bt i just cnt stop it.

i kept telling ppl its YOU the one hu dont want to let go,

not u CANT.

i realized im wrong thou.

thr's several time i stop thkin abt him and dont miss him.

bt once i saw or heard something abt him,

it proved to me tht i actly still holding him.

im trying to enjoy here.

i tried.

bt sometime i felt so alone.

when i fall sck,

no one thr to care me.

no one to look aft me.

i miss him.

I REALLY HATE YOU FOR TREATING ME LKE THIS!

I DONT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LKE THIS!!

2011-12-05T21:52:00.002+08:00

shud i just deactivate my fb account till i totally let go of him?

sometimes i thought i got bck my strength.

but it proved to me tht its not.

idk wht cn i do or wht shud i do.

why till now i still thkin of him,

hoping to be with him?

why till now i stil standing on the same place, same spot?

why dont just i tk one step forward?!!

why im such a fool?

i always tell myself to live well,

enjoy well and study well.

why when i believe i cn do it he ll just appear?

how can i STOP missing him?

2011-12-04T20:37:00.002+08:00

i thought i ald FORGET him.

i was wrong.

i thought i DONT care anymore.

i was wrong.

i thought i ald let go of EVERYTHING.

i was wong.

i thought i DONT hold him in me and i have moved FORWARD.

i TOTALLY WRONG.

he still in me!

WHY??

2011-12-01T22:41:00.003+08:00

tht's my ADIDAS bag!!

its simple i kno.

damn love it and this was the last one. lucky. XD

too bad nt able to buy my dream nike bag.

bt glad to have this.

thanks ya!

2011-12-01T22:32:00.005+08:00

akustik member

finally finish the bank akustik performance ytdy.

felt so nice and really such a good experience!

the first time ever been so enjoy on the stage in front of ppl.

maybe because thr's least ppl thr and its dark.

haha!

housemate and i

now shud continue my study.

lots of assignment to do and final is coming soon!

stop enjoy and fooling around chuah chin yin!!

and shud i be glad tht i hardly thk of him d?

not letting go just letting it be.

fate~

2011-11-29T20:17:00.002+08:00

THANKS TO MY FRIEND FOR THE TICKET!

tht's my 20th birthday present from my housemate.

it is a Christmas event organised by UNIMAS.

don't feel lke going due to its price but now i need to go.

let's enjoy the day then!

my 2nd birthday present from my coursemate was ADIDAS bag!

im so happy to have it.

thou i paid rm50, he sponsored me rm100.

thanks alot.

2011-11-22T18:55:00.002+08:00

it seems lke i at here to enjoy more than study.

my study is lke so worst!

last week went for movie and Damai beach.

we went out for whole day, which mean more than 24H did not slp.

quite enjoy actually.

thou i got tanned!

funny was on tht day friend of mine lost the rented car key.

he dropped it while playing at the beach.

hell cause of it we got tanned and getting even tired.

the next day went out with my housemate.

she wanted to buy dress for her performance.

again something happened.

the car tht we rented out of battery.

time wasted lke tht.

i encountered something lke tht for 2 consecutive days!

really such a nice experience.

2011-11-15T21:42:00.003+08:00

today is the worst day ever.

had discreet math test,

not worst enough i woke up and realize i m late for the exam!!

its lke damn late.

tht time ald 930 and my exam at 900 - 1045.

i took bus at 1000 and reached thr at 1030!

its lke 15 minute left and d test end.

maybe the lecturer mood was good and he allowed me to tk the test!

one of the lecturer told me tht i was lucky as usually he dont alow to tk anymore.

thank you terrin lim!!

bt still am sorry.

idk hw to do at all.

the whole paper was lke covering my eyes and asnw!

all just tembak!!

my discreet math pls dont flunk!

2011-11-14T13:38:00.002+08:00

almost been a month since last posted.

currently busy with my mid term exam.

lesson of the day : no more last minute study!

ytdy studied till 4am and was reluctant to wake just now.

because of too last minute,

was nt able to complete all 5 chapter.

ended up skip one question from the chap tht i skip!

hopefully able to pass.

i spent my whole week at ipoh, my beloved hometown!

and tht week too made me awake frm my dream.

i indeed should just start over again with my life.

nope. i am not giving up him.

bt i too ll not let his shadow bug me anymore!

if we really gt fate, we ll meet.

i do believe we gt fate!

he gt the same university as mine, tht was fate too right?

i ll wait and see. maybe u just my future husband!!

now let's study and focus on my future.

bright future! XD

2011-10-24T18:00:00.000+08:00

CAN I STOP EVERYTHING??

2011-10-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

Today our faculty, FKSTM had Mentor-Mentee Day.

Held at Unimas old campus.

It was the first time I went thr.

Nth much actually.

Overall I felt the activities not bad though.

Im bit bored during the event.

And practically tired.

Reached hostel at 4pm,

Without bathing,

At smelly state I lye on ber and fell asleep within few min.

I just found out tht tmr ll be Utar orientation week.

How is him now?

I bet he might just busy settle down his stuffs and everything in Utar.

Nth new at thr.

Will he ever think of me now,

Wondering my condition here,

Wanting me be thr?

Silly me!

He wants to study so badly how ll he ever thk of you?

And thr’s lot of pretty gurls thr.

Not even your turn CHUAH CHIN YIN!!

Just study hard and pass the calculus, discreet math and so on.

If not need to reconsider my path again.

2011-10-06T21:54:00.003+08:00

finally i finish watch d korean drama, oh my lady.

i love this drama much.

its so sweet, funny and romantic!

how i wish i could find a dream guy like choi si won.

i found my dream guy.

just he's not thr for me now.

i bet if we were meant to be with each other,

we ll bond tgt somehow.

but i seriously miss him now!

i miss the time when i can complain everything to him,

when he's thr for me when im down,

when he been my good listener,

when he's thr to support and care me as his one of the important person.

i really miss you!

it suck tht i still havent gotten over you,

im still stuck in you.

i never intend to open my heart to anyone,

i miss your kiss!

thrs alot of assignment.

and it totally killing me.

its not lke nvr been tht busy before.

just the calculus and discreet math assignment i have difficulties.

for sure all assignment i ll face difficulties,

but forever the MATH will be the WORST.

If I fail certain course in sem one,

I been telling myself to work hard and try my best for this sem.

I already had enough in here.

I ll back ipoh and go for utar.

I cant bear with it.

Its been so lonely.

MY WHOLE HOUSEMATE IN UNIMAS

THE BIRTHDAY GURL, SUE LING.

MY ROOMMATE AND I

i SUPPOSE to be happy and enjoy my life here.

but dont kno why im not.

i still feel so empty after so long.

i feel tht i dont belong here.

this is not my world.

idk wht to do.

2011-10-04T13:03:00.002+08:00

okay.

my mission for this week fail!

tonight i ll be going to friend's brthday celebration.

goin for western food,

with whole housemate.

how lucky she is!

gonna spend much again tonight. hate it.

and my plan to go sushi king for tht bonanza ll not success.

i hate here!!

i had a study plan.

i m gonna wake as early as 5am the latest to study!

exclude weekends.

my sleeping time.

hopefully im determine to do so.

i MUST ah.

i CANT fail my calculus or discrete.

2011-10-01T00:42:00.002+08:00

its been almost a month time i in unimas.

well i guess i fully adapted in here.

everything's fine.

people here are nice.

all of them communicate using mandarin,

where i definitely have some difficulty.

i feel so lonely in here.

feeling empty.

i miss hometown much.

i miss the food thr.

i miss my friend thr.

i have friends here,

still i feel so empty.

tears ll just drop when im all alone.

idk wht happen to me.

i wanted to chat with him,

wanted to chat with my friends.

i WANT my friends HERE!!

education.

i feel lke giving up.

out of 6 sub,

i able to cope up with 3 sub.

ONLY 3.

i m so worry tht i ll fail.

i need to fail my first sem?

idk wht to do.

WHY AM I STILL THT LOST AFTER SO LONG?!!

2011-09-04T22:16:00.003+08:00

im in sarawak now!!

today is my 3rd day in sarawak.

well,

i totally leave no good view in sarawak.

i dont feel nice nor enjoy it.

i miss penisular malaysia!!

maybe, i mean maybe,

sabah is much more better,

or at least nicer and lots of thgs to see.

sarawak,

totally BORED me.

hopefully sooner or later i ll enjoy living in sarawak.

2011-08-25T22:29:00.002+08:00

another day at kampar.

kampar life is totally like lazy life.

all the day i d done was eat and sleep.

imagine,

throughout the day!!

today slept till 11something,

woke up and online for awhile,

then around 1pm slept again.

ltr went to lecture class.

today was Information System.

the lecturer gave exam scope to all of them.

how lucky.

after class went bck home and sleep again!!

my entire day was just slp and eat and slp.

w/o entertainment.

how pitiful.

2011-08-24T21:31:00.002+08:00

currently at kampar now.

tdy went to friend's lecture class, principal of marketing.

was not wht i expected it to be.

funny was the class were so noisy till the lecturer kept on asking for student's cooperation.

UTAR PK campus is definitely BIG!!

and beautiful of course.

well, my sarawak ll the same i kno.

one more week left.

will he asks me out?

let me continue be a fool for one more week.

after it,

everything after 4 years later.

i ll wait.

2011-08-22T21:16:00.002+08:00

everything seems not goes well.

i lost my MAYBANK debit and as well as THE STORE member card,

though the membership was not mine.

at the same day,

everyone got their PTPTN result yet i dont get it.

how stress!!

today went to py's house and print my edited salary slip.

well done nie.

haha!!

after tht i checked my mail yet i dont get any from PTPTN.

few min ltr she viewed my mail and saw it.

totally relieved.

as expected,

i got half loan.

lucky i nid nt pay tht much aft finish the whole course.

im waiting for it!!

2011-08-18T15:20:00.002+08:00

its been so long since i last posted.

i cant online at all,

due to house connection too bad,

and now house no internet at all.

ha!!

2 more week left and im going to Sarawak!!

i miss ipoh terribly.

guess i ll, for now.

its good too.

start a brand new life thr,

leave every unhappy memories here.

wish me luck ya.

Sarawak, here i come!!

my life been so busy now.

preparing all the stuff.

my mind loaded with him.

not entirely of course!!

i wonder ll he asks me out to meet for the last time?

dont thk he ll after all he's been declining me for trip,

as always!!

i been so good in dealing with rejections.

i should actly thanks him for tht.

once i reach thr,

i definitely ll post about Sarawak!!

im curious too.

2011-07-10T23:42:00.002+08:00

yesterday i had a dream.

should i say sweet dream?

inside tht dream,

its lke aft so long he did not let go entirely,

as in he still in love with me.

and i still d same,

thrfore we tgt and everything seemed to go so smooth.

its lke a happy ending.

seriously i dont felt lke wake up at all.

i wanted to continue.

dream ll remain as dream.

i really want it to become a reality,

thou just for a day.

i am actly in d process of letting him go entirely.

bt somehow thr's distraction.

i miss him again.

thr's once he msged me.

i was totally out of mind.

at tht moment i totally down.

dunno wth im worried abt.

since thn i started to imagine tht one day we'll back tgt,

just one day.

deep inside thr's hope again.

sometime i wanted to tell out how i felt.

yet i didnt.

as wht i get would b d same.

and wht for telling to ppl whn im d only one tht able to help myself.

everything i faced my own.

i do envy my frn.

whn she faced d same situation,

thrs bunch of frns to support her.

thrs frn for her to talk to,

giving her opinions.

mentally supported by her frns.

thr to lend a shoulder,

an ear to listen all her problems.

when you faced difficulties,

you should b glad tht thy were thr for you.

much more easy to let go,

to settle down.

2011-06-18T23:29:00.002+08:00

i finally went to Hat Yai, Thailand for the first time

after i lived for 20 years on this earth.

quite fun at thr just tht nt the much time to explore.

after all just 2D1N trip.

the whole journey im so satisfied with it.

bought not much thg at thr.

bought t-shirt and a bag (which was force to buy from tht woman!!)

will upload the pictures soon.

babi working place blocked the wifi connection.

else i had uploaded it earlier.

2011-06-09T15:16:00.004+08:00

just few minute earlier i finally faced the moment tht i don't wish it to happen.

he finally asked me abt our existing postpaid line.

i thought its okay even if he asks.

i thought i was well prepared.

bt when i saw his message regarding the line,

all of sdn i felt so down.

deep down i was disappointed.

wth i want?!!

idk.

i still cant find the path to walk on.

people said when you dream of someone numerous time

this mean you in love wth tht someone.

guess i still love him.

not too much nor too little.

i really want to make myself drunk,

and forget everything.

it really bothers me much.

i no longer track him

but why i just cnt gt rid of all these!!

when you want something to happen,

it just wont happen.

when you want the bonding remains,

it just can't.

no matter how hard you tried.

everything is possible when you work hard with it.

its not.

not everything.

certain thing in life no matter how hard you work for it,

no matter how long,

how much effort you put in,

can't means can't.

its just so impossible.

such a failure.

2011-05-30T01:39:00.002+08:00

im awaiting the day to Hat Yai.

its a family trip.

thou thr's tour guide.

i never been thr before.

i just know tht thr's lot og things to shop,

which is very cheap and

the food thr is delicious.

at the same time

how i wish i able to go with him.

tgt with my family members.

i only can hope and hope

tht one day he'll find me back.

the answer i already know

but i still hope for tht day come.

you'll find happiness whn thr's hope in you right?

one thing i hardly stalk his account.

should have a celebration right? ha.

it's okay.

thou i can resist this,

thr's something i still fear of.

cant get rid of it.

and i still miss him.

will update my trip when im back.

2011-05-21T00:08:00.002+08:00

till now i still asking myself what am i doing.

wht i want.

whr should i head to.

wht's my direction.

im still lost.

why?

i still waiting for him.

when its impossible to happen.

i often dream of tgt with him again.

he has his own life yet im still unconscious.

i been to kl for work.

yet i still don't get the satisfaction.

i just dont know why.

no matter wht i did,

i just dont get it.

idk wth is wrong with me.

cant you just go ahead and leave all those shits behind!!

2011-05-09T13:26:00.002+08:00

dont know why i often dream of him.

dont know why i often think of him.

is tht because his big day around the corner?

speaking of tht

i feel terrible.

as im not the one to celebrate with him.

no more.

will he miss me

or miss tht moment?

absolutely not.

he has his own life.

he enjoy his life way much better when the time with me.

i really miss you do you know???

2011-05-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

i just realize tht i still can't face him yet.

i dont dare at all.

tdy thought of goin jj

bt on the way finding for parking,

saw his car.

i was so frightened at tht time idk why.

idk whether tht was his bro or him.

i just so scared.

ended up went to parade.

till then i was so miss him.

how cn i get rid of you?!!

IMY

2011-05-02T23:50:00.003+08:00

now is alrdy May.

still idk what m i doin.

no direction.

wht's the meaning of surviving idk.

thr's ntg worth to survive in this world.

it's true tht when you have your life partner,

you will entirely ignore everything around you.

ntg matter anymore as long as your partner is with you.

but once your partner left,

everything would b mess up.

trying hard to search your lost soul.

you would just living in your own world,

daydreaming and never find happiness.

till you find back your soul.

2011-04-26T23:35:00.003+08:00

just completed my job at Stadium Perak

Minggu Saham Amanah

i quite enjoyed with this job.

thou worked long hours

1000-2200.

basically its 2230 after finish everything.

knew lots of friend and learnt quite a lot from thr.

thts all for tdy.

imy.

2011-04-22T00:58:00.001+08:00

CHUAH CHINYIN

U RE SUCH A STUPID IDIOT GURL

WHO NVR WANTS TO WAKE UP IN UR DREAMS!!

I REALLY HATE MYSELF!!!

2011-04-20T23:29:00.002+08:00

every single time im forcing myself not to thk about you.

nt to daydreaming anymore.

every single time i thought i finally let go of everything.

tht every single time i realized tht i actly not.

what m i doing idk.

deep inside i still want to be with him.

idk why i dont get rid of it instead.

my memory getting worst.

basically i cant recognize people

unless i've been mingle with he/she quite some time.

thr's lot of my schoolmate out thr tht i dont recognize even thy call my name.

old gurl.

istillthtmissyou.

2011-04-15T22:25:00.002+08:00

this few days i often thk of him.

maybe im too free at home.

doing nth.

every time im wondering what is he doing now.

guess he's working.

i has a strong sense tht he's not working here.

not ipoh.

elsewhere lke kl.

hope im wrg.

i feel tht he is so busy.

thr's no update in his account.

made me so uneasy.

i dream of him.

terrible.

in the dream i wanted to shout IMYSM!!

hopefully we have the chance once again.

i will wait you.

currently saving money to buy ipod touch or iphone 4.

or even htc.

not tht bad huh.

surveying.

ha.

ireallymissyousosomuch.

2011-04-13T00:06:00.001+08:00

where 're you??

2011-04-11T16:54:00.003+08:00

"dont know why i actually fear that sooner or later i might dont love him.

because of everything he has done.

dont know why i dont wish this love to fade.

i want to love him.

i really can't explain why.

not at all."

thts on 10.10.2010.

how funny it is.

i feared tht i dun love him.

really stupid.

i should actly fear tht he dun love me instead!!

i started to realized tht i made a lot of mistakes.

i took our relation lightly.

ended up this way.

i wish to turn back time.

where are you??

are you working??

dont know why i always has tht feeling

tht you are working at kl.

hope tht i am wrong.

2011-04-11T14:45:00.002+08:00

watcha doin now.

imysm do you know.

its not easy.

not easy to forget.

not easy to pretend happy.

not easy to fake a smile.

really not easy

when the days w/o you.

true friend.

when you're not happy

thy wont be thr.

when you need someone to talk to

thy wont be thr.

when you cry

thy wont be thr

to lend you a shoulder to lean on.

when you need them

thy just wont be thr.

ireallyhadenoughofallthisshit!

2011-04-09T16:41:00.002+08:00

everybody hurts some days

its okay to be afraid

everybody hurts

everybody screams

everybody feels this way

cant somebody take me to a better place

so many questions so many on my mind

so many answers i cant find

i wish i can turn back time

i wonder why

2011-04-07T20:49:00.002+08:00

this Saturday i need to seat for MUNSYI TEST.

i applied for Anderson school but thy sent me to SMGR.

i realized tht most Michaelian were sent to SMGR.

i don't feel like going thr anymore.

he will be going thr too.

i dont want to meet him.

sad to say ya.

avoiding him.

dont kno how to face him.

awkward.

friend.

i lost a friend tht i truly trust.

felt like i was being fooled.

imstupid.

2011-04-04T20:12:00.002+08:00

life is too fragile.

its fact no one will appreciate what thy have, not till thy lost it.

human often lives in regret.

im one of it.

living in past. in dream.

just fear to wake. its hurt when u realized everything was just a dream.

was over.

no one thr for you.

no one to talk to.

no one to rely on.

everything become memories.

tht will always remain in me.

we choose our own path.

with one click, everything is deleted.

and start a new chapter of life.

yet im not gonna to take tht step.

i will never click the "delete" button.

but "save".

all the memories tht we created together.

its to memorable to me.

i'll cherish it.

on behalf of you and myself.

2011-03-17T11:08:00.002+08:00

i need to find back myself.

thou i reluctant to stay away.

m really thick face i know.

but thts make me comfort.

by being at his side.

letting go will be better.

thts fact.

will we ever be tgt again?

are we fated to?

im confuse.

2011-02-28T01:00:00.003+08:00

" you cannot know how to express your love, until you know what your partner values."

its true.

some people can become selfish.

from 'WE' they begin to say 'ME' and think 'ME'.

partner's feeling never taken into account.

we can survive without money,

but we can't survive without love.

people will never understands it.

2011-02-19T16:53:00.002+08:00

am i doing the right thing.

when am i able to put down every single thing.

im not mature enough i know.

i want to leave.

i don't recogn myself anymore.

2011-02-16T21:55:00.001+08:00

evrything blank.
seriously lost direction.
in progress searching back pieces in me.
....
result releases soon.
good luck.

2011-02-07T18:54:00.003+08:00

HAHAA! guess what, im back to KL. instead my brother will be staying there till tomorrow. LOL! everyone been asking me, why would i leave so early?? LOL! idk why either.. maybe because everyone starts working today, maybe because there's nothing to do in Ipoh or maybe is because i have something to do here.. XD

lotsa thanks to my ipoh jimui for bringing me out at night with entertainment.. and really thank you for coming all the way to my grandma's house just to fetch me out.. hopefully we'll get to meet up again before 2012. choi choi CHOIIIIII!!! XD

got to go now.. owh yeah, i dont have any pictures to upload here.. i just realised that there's only 1 picture taken during CNY in Ipoh.. idk why either.. hopefully my relative never tag those ugly pics of me in facebook.. >.<

TerLi & Yuki =)

and a billion thanks to my Aunt for a BIG SURPRISE.. on the 2nd day of CNY, before taking a family picture my aunt was like.. "ATTN EVERYONE, NAT GOT BF ALREADY !!! " ini memang z.h.a.d.o.u = =

2011-01-22T18:53:00.014+08:00

hello people,

im back, again! =D

i know, my blog seems really dead. exactly like the owner.. XDD

u know what, i feel kinda pissed off when i logged into my blog as i saw lots of anonymous leaving chatbox behind.. yes, i have to do something with it.. and i really need to design my blog page once again.. but yet, im gonna do this LATER! XDD

i really need to spend time for shopping, hair saloon and MOVIE [the green hornet] !!! =D

but the thing is that, i just cant move out from bed.. i feel so sleepy in the morning and being so s.e.m.a.n.g.a.t in the midnight.. thats all because of the final exam, changing me time to an abnormal one.. sigh!

TERLI, GO SHOPPPING!!!

2011-01-05T22:42:00.002+08:00

DISAPPOINTMENT

tdy in bad mood. bad day.

come to grief.

nt happy during work.

thought can enjoy with him after work,

failed.

sitting in the bench alone.

looking at the phone messages.

trying to suck in back all my tears.

heart pain.

feel lke throwing tantrums on the spot.

ended up to sushi king and ate.

spent RM23.20.

all alone.

asked friend to fetch.

due to let him ditch me just like that.

cause of it, i didn't drive.

extremely dislike him at that moment.

and now everything back to normal.

shit. damn shit.

i still can't let go.

i still cry because of him. shit.

i need to be strong!!

2010-12-22T19:51:00.002+08:00

AN ENDING.

StPM had come to an end.

this indicates that everything has come to an end.

at the same time i found a job.

at GIORDANO.

one thing is that every workers need to makeup.

to be honest, don't really like it.

yet just have a try.

i don realize that it's actually one year and four month had passed.

w/o my realization, i spent my one year ++ time together with him.

and ended up ntg.

it's pain to know that.

it's pain that i failed to mend every single shit up.

and it's like i been messing all these shit instead of mending it.

im still miss him.

couldn't deny the fact that deep inside i still be there for him,

waiting for him.

i don want to b like a bitch.

spread bad things about him.

everyone got their reasons.

so ill just accept it and slowly understands it.

P/S LIVE UP AND WAIT. MIRACLES COULD HAPPEN.

2010-12-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

I hate u
I hate u and
I HATE U !!!!

2010-12-04T17:35:00.002+08:00

yeapyeapyeap~
currently at papparich, midvalley garden..

as u can see, i'd negleted my bloggie lately.. but nevermind larh, since there's another blogger update this blog.. at least once a week.. LOL!

is been a hectic week lately.. coursework test, assignment... coursework test, assignment... nothing much.. yet is extremely bored.. >.<
and guess what, i'd another coursework test and assignment that needed to hand in this week. OMG! whatalife.. = =

okay, this was not my purpose of blogging right now.. imma just wanna tell u guys that im having difficulties in accessing the net.. though there's ipad for me to online. but its kinda frustrated when it take times to load a page..

and hor and hor and hor.. i seriously dunno when i'll get back to ipoh once again..
and hor and hor and hor... my birthday is coming soon... =D *syoksendiri again.. :P

till here...

G.A.N.B.A.T.E.H!!! SPM & STPM's fellow~

2010-12-02T21:37:00.002+08:00

WEEK 6

our relation ended.

i guess so.

whether i should wake up or not,

i don't know.

i just know that he doesn't love me anymore.

being that stubborn might make him suffer and annoyed.

later on ends up he hates me and bad memory.

day pass as usual.

maybe because he has trained me.

so far,

we been like that - message like no message. nothing to chat.

so now it's like nothing anymore.

1st December 2010..

today i had my computing 2 and chemistry 2.

chemistry no more hope.

i don't think that i can pass.

unless my chemistry 1 extremely good.

sudden no hope.

i give up.

people would says never give up, miracle could happen.

is that so??

i don't seem to has any miracles though i didn't give up.

not to my relation or study.

i just know that actually many things is impossible though you have tried it.

it just that there's no regret then..

he said that if he could back to last time,

he would rather chose not to couple.

guess the memories we had together he don't really bear it in mind.

again how stupid i was keep on has hope on him.

i want to leave.

2010-12-02T21:32:00.002+08:00

WEEK 5

23th November 2010..

the first day of exam..

that's my PA paper 2.

basically,

my paper 2 has failed.

anything about science knowledge failed.

hopefully i can do well in my paper 1.

that's my hope..

now i only hope for computing and chemistry..

i need to get 3 principle in order to further my study.

can i do so??

no confidence..

it's quite tiring..

the day before i revised the whole day.

of course got break.

consumed 2 bottles of brands in order to stay alert the whole.

lucky i did.

2010-11-14T00:23:00.003+08:00

WEEK 4

10th November 2010..

day passed like usual.

nothing special.

went out with him at something.

went to salon and cut hair.

1 hour passed.

left 1 more hour,

went to parade and searched for hair band.

8.30 reached home.

went out with family and had dinner.

real bored and not enjoy at all.

i miss last year.....

where i enjoyed much and he loves me much.

P/S HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIN YIN~~

14 November 2010..

today i quite enjoy.

though we did argued.

went to eat,

2 person ate 4 things. XD

went jj at 8 something ended up 11 something left.

bought nothing but heavy rain till can't back.

what she said was true.

what for holding on a relation when i'm not happy with it right??

somehow i want to see badly that he'll change.

i has a high expectation on myself after all.

i thought i can make him change because of me.

i thought i can make him love me once again.

i'm such a fool.

he no longer calling me dear.

he no longer telling me i love you or i miss you.

why should i that stubborn huh??

idk..

i always giving myself excuses.

it's okay, everything end soon.

till then just take in and smile.

but deep inside i know i'm lying myself.

i'm suffering.

i'm not happy.

maybe i should try to let go........

2010-11-08T15:38:00.003+08:00

WEEK 3

4th & 5th november..

went to KL with him and at the same time to meet up with babi terli. XD

it's quite fun actually.

at least all of us did enjoy the trip, i guess.

i bought one shoe at time square.

throughout the whole trip i've used rm80 wehhh...

broke broke broke.

thanks to terli,

the first time ever sit at the front seat.

to me its quite scary.

anything to happen,

the first one to die.

hahahah.. OMG!!

his aunt and uncle were so nice.

at night his uncle brought us to SS2 and had our supper.

the next day his aunt brought us to KIM GARY at sunway pyramid.

thank you so much..

P/S HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIEW BOON

HAPPY DEEPAVALLI!!!

6th november..

went to penang with family.

seemed so pack right my whole week.

i've convinced mummu to use origins product wehh..

and she bought that set as well.

can curi-curi use. syok. XD

the following days i didn't went out with him.

to me,

i'm not happy with it.

i miss him yet what i can do right?

force him??

useless.

and today i thought he cut his hair like he said.

i asked him during recess time and he said he didnt.

his words full with sarcasms.

can't he just cut his hair once and make me happy for once??

he told he he would sacrifice it.

and now he did differently.

why????

why must he always said something to make me happy and did the other way???

i'm truly disappointed with him.

but i'm the one to be blame.

it's true.

who ask me to forced him??

who ask me to fall for him deeply??

who ask me to rely on him too much??

i'm the one still insist to live in the dream.

reality hurts.

i'm the one who don't want to face it.

i'll accept.

i'm really tired of this life.

i'm totally annoyed with it.

i just want to leave.......

P/S THANKS FOR YOUR LIES.

2010-10-31T20:45:00.001+08:00

It reminds me of ice-skating~

2010-10-31T10:15:00.002+08:00

Finally, I got to blog via iPad. Yet, I have no idea how to transfer the pic through my lappie as the bluetooth are only available for iPhone and iPad..

Guess what, I might be going back to ipoh! Yes, is time.

I hate u for being so selfish, who never once try to respect someone's feelings,
Till now, I could not control the tears~

2010-10-29T20:52:00.003+08:00

DAY 11

[[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKKGIGuLVy0 ]]

every gurl should listen to this song.

its nice and its totally true.

gurl shouldn't let guy too tired.

i was one of it.

i never appreciate till its gone.

i took things for granted.

but was i totally wrong??

since august things went wrong.

but i did tried to mend back.

back then u told me u wanted to mend as well.

but what i got??

i was wrong.

but don't i deserve a second chance??

human don't look back.

is it??

i just hope to back like once we used to be.

why can't we??

u always telling me u're tired.

what about me??

u treated me hot and cold.

i tried my best not to voice out my dissatisfaction.

can't you treat me a little better??

last time u treated me nice,

yet i never appreciate it.

and u said u're tired.

just cause i didn't appreciate.

now i treated you nice,

u never intend to care.

at least u treated me nice back then i love you.

but now i treat u nice,

i just know that u dont love me day by day..

i don't intend to give up cause i know i'll gone crazy without you.

i'm not happy now.

but even if i leave, im not happy either.

everything will end someday right??

no matter how strong someone was,

one day they will became weak.

till then,

everything will be over.

till then,

there's no turning back; i won't look back anymore.

till then,

whatever we once was we no longer are.

you and me would no longer have any relation.

you and me,

END.

2010-10-29T20:39:00.002+08:00

DAY 9 and DAY 10

had my pa test.

it was so hard.

hopefully on stp itself will not out this kind of essays ya.

if not,

no eye see.....

must work hard work hard..

can't be lazy anymore..

if oni i able to concentrate.

then everything would be okay..

2010-10-26T20:26:00.003+08:00

DAY 8

finally watched child's eye.

still okay.

i would say moderate la.

not that nice and not too bad.

of course last time those scary movie were the best.

really scared you till you don't dare to sleep alone at night.

early morning read something that was unexpected.

he told me we're human. we shouldn't look back.

what does he mean??

i was hoping to back like normal,

where we chat and did everything together,

that we went all the places together,

i'm won't without you,

and you would always be there for me.

yet you told me we shouldn't look behind.

fine than.

i know it clearly yet i couldn't do it yet.

sorry...

but i'll leave everything,

slowly, step by step..

i really need time to get through all this..

2010-10-25T20:20:00.004+08:00

DAY 7

as usual went to school.

at 2 something,

before went to tuition,

had a ride on his motor.

its quite fun actually.

but after that i found out that it's not the same anymore.

no matter how hard i pretend to be happy,

no matter how hard i tried back to normal,

no matter how hard i tried,

it's not the same.

i really want to know the reason why.

he told me he would find back his love to me.

did he??

or he just saying out without meant anything??

after all now he used to say nice nice words.

to make me happy.

and the next day he doesn't remember that.

he doesn't bear in mind anymore whatever i said.

things changed just like that without any notice.

time flies.

one year back : when i say leave me alone, he said he can;t let me alone, sorry.

one year later : when i say leave me alone, he said okay, anything msg him.

it's totally struck me.

i can't accept it.

not at all.

what can i still do??

i don't know.

PS ONLY 28 DAYS LEFT TO STPM.

OMG!!

2010-10-25T20:10:00.004+08:00

DAY 6

today is sunday.

and im not happy at all.

no idea why.

i did not study.

i can't sleep.

i can't concentrate.

i did not message with him.

i miss him and wanted to tell him badly.

yet i can't.

whole day i did nothing.

nothing except eat and sit.

had a walk with my family.

tesco extra and UO.

that's my day.

IM SO DEAD.

2010-10-25T20:02:00.002+08:00

DAY 5

went to parade and thought of watch the child's eye yet its fulled.

went to pengkalan's mcd to have a chat with friends.

5 something,

went to kampar and had obama burger in vegas.

that's their specialty i think.

BURGER!!

its quite worth after all.

rm 8.90, no tax.

totally enough for anyone as its not like those normal size like in mcd.

its so YUMMY..... XD

gonna go there once again and try for other meal course..

and i actually love kampar.

it's so peaceful and nice.

it's not like those 'kampung' place as i thought.

PS OBAMA BURGER DOESN'T REALLY FILLED ME.

MAYBE I'M JUST GETTING FATTER.

HMMPH.

2010-10-23T23:47:00.005+08:00

i know i know... everyone are craving for iphone4 now... if u asked me, which phone are better between blackberry and iphone, for sure is iphone larh..
but i personally love BB bold so badly..
Ps: ignore about the iphone4 i used to blogged previously.. i aint interested in iphone.. i'd participated in the competition for the sake of increasing my nuffnangs earnings.. yet, i failed! LOL!

bytheway, for those who are keen with iphone package between digi and maxis plan , kindly visit my brother's blog.. *click me* =)

2010-10-22T23:52:00.003+08:00

gonna blog about it soon..
stay tune~

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y !!
C. Siew Jiuan.. =)

2010-10-22T17:39:00.003+08:00

DAY 4

as predicted,

he never been good to me even after i gave him that gift.

of course the main purpose gave him that not cause wanting him to treat me better.

arrrgh..!!

forgets that.

i'll do my parts and till time comes,

i'll leave eventually.

no regret then..

i want to watch child's eye.

just found out that one of the cast is rainie yang..

some said its not bad.

tempting me.....

went to parade thought of watch it yet went there late..

next show is 6something.

it's too late la.....

tomorrow tomorrow..!!

P/S SHOULD LISTEN THIS. ( 女人不该让男人太累)

2010-10-22T17:15:00.003+08:00

DAY 3

everything just as usual.

nothing much.

we still remain like stranger at school.

how funny.

study still the same.

without any improvement.

after all,

i slept more than studied.

bought him a wallet.

orlando, genuine leather.

thought of buying others yet failed.

gave him today.

he said thanks.

that's good.

let's see whether he would change the way he treats me or not after receiving it..

and now....

i REALLY need to SAVE MONEY!!

if not,

i'm really dead.

can't enjoy at all....

P/S NO HOPE NO DISAPPOINTMENT, SO DON'T HOPE ANYTHING FROM ANYONE.

2010-10-20T17:31:00.006+08:00

I'LL CONTINUE MY JOURNEY.

DAY 2

i cant concentrate on my studies at all.

because of him.

even minor things could just distract me.

how can i get rid of it??

today he just went off without informing me.

without finding me.

gonna be a history,

whole day at school we didn't talk.

was it a sign??

a sign telling me that i actually self deception??

everyday i could just see it clearly.

yet i don't intend to give up.

what am i up to??

i really have no idea.

everything has changed.

i cant bear all this changes.

last time he would just find me and chat happily together.

last time he would gone back with me together.

last time we would do everything together.

but now??

solo solo..

dont know why i actually fear that sooner or later i might dont love him.

because of everything he has done.

dont know why i dont wish this love to fade.

i want to love him.

i really can't explain why.

not at all..

not even a month i have to sit for STP.

how am i going to go trough all this i don't know.

been burning midnight oil at certain day.

i just want to pass 3 subject and get 2.0.

that's it.

not more than that.

i don't give a damn on it.

PS TRUE LOVE IS WHEN I SHED A TEAR AND STILL WANT HIM

HAPPY 20102010. xd

2010-10-19T16:45:00.003+08:00

THE ONE THAT I USED TO BE HAS DIED SINCE 14.10.10

DAY 1

been abandoned this blog quite some time.

whether its happy or not,

i don't feel like there's a necessity for me to blog.

cause someone meant alot to me would be there for me.

he would listen all my problems.

he's the best guy i have ever met.

i read back all the blogs that i've posted back then,

it brought a lot of memories to me.

i miss him now.

i wonder why things changed so sudden?

i wonder what made him changed?

i wonder what am i to him?

i wonder do he miss me there?

all these would just keep annoy me.

but i wouldn't ask about it anymore.

i've changed as well.

changed to someone i couldn't even recognize myself.

i becoming helpless.

i am ego.

yet now i becoming self-worthless.

i did something that i wouldn't do last time.

i said something that i wouldn't said last time.

cause of i desperately wanted to be with him,

i asked him back,

asked him not to leave.

even if he said harsh words on me,

i didnt even fight back or throw tantrums as i used to.

i take in everything.

no matter how dislike, how hurt i am,

i take in everything.

what i'm doing this for?

I DONT KNOW.

I LOST DIRECTION.

I LOST MYSELF.

i wouldn't give up,

not till that day comes.

but before the day comes,

i might has gone mad....

P/S APPRECIATE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE TO MEND BACK EVERYTHING.

GOOD LUCK FOR COMING STPM.

ALL THE BEST.

2010-10-16T02:17:00.002+08:00

am so LAZY to type..
am so LAZY to upload the pics..
am so LAZY to update my bloggie..
overall,

I AM JUST TOO LAZY TO DO ANYTHING!! which include SMS! >.<

2010-10-15T00:57:00.002+08:00

yupyupyup~
is my mummy birthday today... just celebrated her birthday with a cake..
there's another cake for her as breakfast next morning.. =)

imma took this opportunity to wish:

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y to:

my beloved MUMMY~

my cousin brother, kelvin Lim

and my bestie MeowW a.k.a waihong (my counselor..) ^^

My Family PD Trip Water Balloon Fight

2010-10-09T02:32:00.001+08:00

awwwww~ i really miss the moments so muchyyy~
having FUN with my families.. i just love it muchyyyy~

aunt said that, she's gonna organize a BBQ Party event in the end of the year...
hopefully it works...
as, all i want is just a gathering.. =D

2010-10-08T23:43:00.004+08:00

people might be wondering, what kind of result i get for the previous sem.
frankly speaking, i did very BADLY last sem.
as u can see in my OLD(s) post. it might be the worst result ever...
but yet, i'd expected! i can only blame myself for everything...
and IDK why, am NOT in a good mood this week.. ;(
and things happened between my friends... : (

s.m.i.l.e people.. =)

2010-09-30T17:26:00.005+08:00

u know what, i am really pissed off since yesterday. i even argue about this with my mum, and cried all they way back to hostel. she's my sister, SO??? did she ever once treat me as her SIS??? did she respect me as a SIS?? what happen if i scold her??? obviously my parents will scold me back since she's the youngest and dearest one. sorry, i never give a damn bout it.

my shoes, yes, i have lots of shoes, but most of them are for college use, and i'll always make sure there's a shoe at home just incase if i need to go for shopping on weekends, i dont have to bring my shoe back home everytime. and because i walk ALOT in college, my shoe doesnt usually wear it for long-term. so most of them will spoil when its time. clothes, almost every month i'll buy clothes and i'll make sure is suitable for college and outing wears. and tops really take my attention, ALOT!

and fyi, all these kind of thingie, i bought it based on my allowance i had every month. and fyi, my allowance has been decrease immensely. i rather not to spend much on food, so i have money to shop for new stuff. eventhough if i stay in college for 2weeks! i would rather eat bread or hostel food though it taste sucks. im still a student, i dont get any income. not even from loan, cause i didnt borrow any money from ptptn. i'll try to budget! thats it!

but hey, u wear my clothes without asking my permission. obviously i'll get pissed off as i rather u to ask me permission instead of just wear it lidat. and please, once u borrow my things, PLEASE PLACE IT IN ORDER! u can blame the dog, but why cant u blame urself that u didnt put it back into the box. u're good in telling LIES! u can say that u didnt borrow one, but how amazing it is, as i didnt know my shoes have legs to run away.

shoes, u have more shoes than me. my shoes are more to college use. and now i only left 1 perfect wedges & sport shoe. seriously, THANKS TO U for everything u have done. and indeed i need to BUDGET like hell to shop for shoes now. 5 PAIRS OF SHOES GONE LIDAT! think about it. i dont work, i dont get income, i dont have any guys or whatever it is to sponsor me things. everything i bought is my own savings! or maybe, my allowance. and fyi, i need to spend money on books and photostated notes either. pls, think more rationally. i dont need u to respect me as a sis. but please, respect me in certain ways. if im working, i get income then is okay.. yet i dont, and my allowance has been decrease and i need it to survive till the end of month everytime.
please, be more considerate.

2010-09-27T23:59:00.003+08:00

i found something in my room..
VERY UGLY punya....

.......................................

........................

.............

it reminds me of MAYBANK! XDD

9th, 10th & 11th september

2010-09-27T18:37:00.004+08:00

Yayyyyy~ FINALLY, is september.. XDD

my sem break has finally over, and life may getting hectic really soon.. =/
hopefully i'll do much better than previous sem.. *pray hard

on 9th of september, i'd followed my cousin bro to klang, [my cousin's hse.]. so, we'd stopped by at my aunt's house for a moment to pay them a visit, and for sure, to let my grandma see my cutie face! XD

baby earnest, my cousin excitedly run towards his mum, and said; "mummy, aunty lai liao.."
i was like.. wth. JIE JIE LAI LIAO! so he was like, "mummy, jiejie lai liao.." >.< from there, my aunt & grandma talks about our childhoods moment, where she has to take care the 6 of us when we were still a kids. and my grandma was like; "very hard to communicate with u nia, i have to talk to u and ur brother in ENGLISH, 'COME EAT COME EAT', 'COME COME BATH', yet both of us doesnt seems to understand anything." LOL! it made me and my cou bro laugh like MAD. XDD

meet teddy's new friend.. =D it belongs to my cousin brother.. = =
PROUDTOSAY, my teddy CUTER ALOTTTTT! XDD

guess what?? he likes to capture a pic of me! but only the side view or the back is because he saids front doesnt look nice.. shit u! = =
and he love to ask me this whenever i see him; "myv zhai leh???". my goodness.. = =

on the following day, me, my cousin & cousin bro followed my aunt to melacca. while we were on the way to melacca, baby earnest would like to watch some movies in the car.. so here's the conversation like..
baby earnest: i want king-kong!
cou bro : dontwant la.. lets watch "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", okay??? [home alone, movie]
baby earnest: dont want! im scared. XD
baby earnest: WO YAO KING-KONG!
i was like freak out. baby earnest understand what he's trying to tell. or maybe, my cousin brother speak baby punya language.. XD

Baby earnest dislike this movie muchyyyy~

yet, he SUKA this! XDD

on 10th & 11th was a family day... LOL! i'd followed my cousin and her family for a shopping at 1U. her bro wants to buy a new phone, samsung galaxy from maxis centre, yet it was closed during raya, so we'd went all the way to sunway pyramid to get 'em.

i just love to play this HAKYANZHANG game...
and SAMSUNG GALAXY much better than iphone as there's more applications..

we'd went back to sunway on the following day to buy screen protector & casing for this samsung's phone.. damn "pa bai" lorh... >.<
but at least, i get to shop!!! me bought a new JumpSuit!! =DD

my cousin.. =)

it reminds me of something..

OFF to Sungai Lembing 2days trip on the following days.. stay tune.. =)

18th & 19th AUGUST 2010

2010-09-26T16:33:00.011+08:00

i'd went back home on the 18th of august. mummy told me that they will be having a dinner with our relatives who came all the way from sweden. they'd came to M'sia for about 3 weeks, and i'd finally met up with them on the 18th. well, im kinda excited as is been quite some times since the last time i'd met them. my-long-time-no-see-relatives.. XDD

and gues what, they'd bought us souvenirs from sweden. white-gold necklace and a pair of earings for TerLi.. SUKA it muchyyyyy~ <3

had lunch with my brother and his GF. after lunch, we picked up my sis and off to PJ area to meet up with my cousin bro.
then, we had our 2nd round at A&W while waiting for them to arrived. by the time we'd reached the place, 4 of us BAO BAO luuuu~ yet, my brother can still starve some food into his stomach.. where as for the 3 of us, we cant swallow the food anymore.. =S

meet my UNCLES; jeffrey, which is only 24th year old & tim, a year younger than me.. LOL!

obviously we dont call them uncle larh, since our age gap are quite close to each other.. jeff & tim sounds much better right?? =)

the Phan's & Phun's family.. LOL!

after dinner, we'd went to my ku-poh [granpa's sis] house for blow-water session..

long-time-no-see relatives.. XD

on the following day, my bro's brought them for a visits around KL. surprisingly they'd went most of the places. so, my brother didnt know where to bring them to as i have to go for an interview during lunch hour. the mooncake-promoter interview.. SIGH!
Eek! i saw Tim had a taste on the samples trough CCTV during the interviewed.. LOL! XDD

know what, my brother left us at the national mosque, where as for him, he's doing his own " BIG business " over there.. LOL!

OFF to the national monument.. my goodness, the last time i'd been to this place is when i was still a cutie little girl. XDD

camwhore with ah sou.. ^^

next destination; IKEA, LMAO! i bet majority of u didnt know that IKEA are actually from sweden right?? and if u ever notice bout IKEA in Msia, they sell local foods at ground level, and swedish food at 1st floor.

saw that "TerLi's punya" ?? LOL! lemme tell u, for us will be like, "HAR, SO BIG AR???" but for them, is just a S.N.A.C.K !!
and i doesnt really like the taste of the SAUCE, so, i'd exchanged my dish with tim. obviously, it taste better than mine.. yummmyyyy~

but somehow, im gonna say NO to jeff's punya as well.. imma dislike raw food, not even SALMON! >.< this one this one this one... jeff treat us these. u guys M-U-S-T have a try on it...
is M.A.R.V.E.L.O.U.S !! nom nom nommmmm~ x3

next round;

brother decided to bring them out for a night drink. IMMA SO HAPPY, as i'd finally get to go out and have some drinks with them at NIGHT!! say till like as though i didnt go out for drinks at night only.. = =

a friend of my brother, rokchin & his gf, join us that night.

at old town whitecoffee..
this fella hor, keep talking bout his own stories saja.. = =

OFF to OPERA

guess which is mine???
i dunno which is mine either.. L.A.M.E >.<

this was the very 1st time the brothers went out for drinks together.. and is also my 1st time having some drinks with my brother.

imma had a great outing with them on that day itself. hopefully we can spend more times together during the next trip to M'sia.. and that will a 4years from now.. SIGH!

Digi iPhone 4 Me =D

2010-09-24T23:31:00.009+08:00

guess what?? Digi has launched the iPhone 4 on 24september, which means TODAY! i guess those people whom own an iPhone was like W-T-H, they'd just bought it for like few months ago, or maybe a year. but somehow, technology advance are welcoming. people would just grab one once it launch. how nice! =D

majority of them wish to own an iPhone. SO DO I! =D there's 720 HD video-recording, 5-megapixel camera and retina display. how wonderful it is, where i can actually camwhore from time to time with it.. HD mannnnn! i dont need a camera anymore. *hiakhiak~ XD

when i logged into my facebook this morning, i saw my brother sent a comment to the digi telecommunications. seems like, he's kind of interested with the plan.
as Digi has offer us with the package; "the MOST AFFORDABLE iPhone 4 is here, FROM RM58/MONTH! the phone price after savings includes the discounts / rebates that you get with iDigi plan, you will be charged from m58 per month.

as i came across with nuffnang advertisement,i'd keen with the iphone 4 where Digi are giving away ONE iphone 4 to nuffnanger.

what u need to do is just to blog about iPhone! why i want an iphone 4?? cause there's multi-functions in it, and i dont need to use any camera since iPhone 4 has functions of 720 HD video-recording and 5-megapixel camera.. everything in HD! *hiakhiak~ XDD

and the next thing i really wish to do is that..

................................

...................

......

Digi iphone 4 me *click me =)
Digi iPhone *click me =)

Digi iPhone 4

yupyupyup! is mine!!
TerLi's punya~ XD
*am dreaming.. >.<

Digi always the smarter choice ;)
i will follow U~